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| On Top of the World; May 24 - early am (Yana, Kitty, Bobby) | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 27 2013, 10:18 PM (818 Views) | |
| Magik | Apr 21 2014, 09:15 AM Post #61 |
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What IS an unseelie bitch, anyway?
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Yeah, fine. Stating the obvious. But honestly, Kitty was making this even harder on herself than she needed to. It wasn't like Doc Sampson was going to say, "Okay, tell me your life story in 50 words or less." She was pretty sure that if her friend managed to just get started, the guy would help her keep going. Granted, she was basing that on tv shows about psychiatrists, but still. It seemed likely that that part, at least, was probably pretty accurate. What she wasn't so sure of was that Kitty actually wanted to get it all out. Okay, she said she did, but...digging it all up was going to suck. She knew that, just based on when she'd dumped years worth of Limbo stories out on Jamie. She was guessing that half the "problem" Kitty was having getting it out was just that she didn't really want to. Or not, given the way look on the younger girl's face when she pointed that out. "Yeah, actually I'm really sure I'd like to get unstuck. I'd really, really like that." Her own expression must have been skeptical (she was feeling sort of skeptical, so it wouldn't surprise her), because Pryde continued with, "I know it'll hurt. It hurts now." "Well, yeah. If it didn't, you wouldn't have a problem to go talk about to begin with," Illyana pointed out, Which probably wasn't helpful, but honestly, if it didn't hurt at all? Why bother talking about it in the first place. "It's just," Kitty started again, looking scowly and making her hope she wasn't going to take out her hair, "there's this whole big pile of stuff, and I don't even know where to start sorting through it, or letting go of it, or how. Or at least a lot of it. Whoever said the hardest part was admitting you have a problem was full of crap." That caused an eyebrow to go up, and she looked at her former roommate in the mirror. "I'm pretty sure the other half of that is that you have to want to get help for it," she pointed out. "Because anyone can say, 'Yeah, I've got a problem.' And if you could figure out how to sort through it and let it go, you probably wouldn't need help to begin with. So..." she paused a second to think, then shrugged and offered just a little tentatively, "maybe you should just stop trying to do the guy's job for him before you go see him?" Not that she really knew - it wasn't like she was the poster child for responsible dealing with...well, anything. But it made sense to her. |
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| Kitty Pryde | Apr 21 2014, 09:35 PM Post #62 |
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Unphased
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Uggh, no. So much no. No, did not want to stay stuck. In fact, she would very much like to be unstuck. It was the figuring out how that even worked, even with help, that was the problem. Her problems were apparently a lot like gum in the hair. Yana was looking skeptical, and Kitty couldn't really say she blamed her, but yeah. Pretty definitely did not want to stay stuck this way. Sure it'd hurt to get unstuck, but it hurt this way, too, so it was a trade off. At least the other way, there was a chance it'd actually stop hurting sometime in the future. Or at least die down to a dull ache or something. "Well, yeah. If it didn't, you wouldn't have a problem to go talk about to begin with," Illyana pointed out and Kitty gave her best friend a slightly crooked look. No kidding. Really? "I'm stunned by your wisdom," she told Yana, shaking her head and with something that was heading a little back toward a smile again. Maybe a wry one, but still sort of a smile type thing on her face. But then that vanished in favor of going the more scowly direction as her brain went right back to the previous track. It was a huge pile of stuff. Stuff she wasn't sure how to sort through, or let go of, or whatever. Most of it, anyway. So yeah, admitting she had a problem was definitely not the hardest part. Though that may have been AA or something, now that she thought about it. Yeah, there went Yana's brow, headed upward in the mirror. "I'm pretty sure the other half of that is that you have to want to get help for it," she pointed out the obvious again. "Because anyone can say, 'Yeah, I've got a problem.' And if you could figure out how to sort through it and let it go, you probably wouldn't need help to begin with. So..." she paused a second to think, then shrugged and offered just a little tentatively, "maybe you should just stop trying to do the guy's job for him before you go see him?" Kitty stared at her for a second, then rolled her eyes, let out a snuffling sort of snort that was kind of a laugh. Almost. "Well, you're the one that wanted to do the list!" she pointed out, waving the scissors briefly at the list in question, "I'm just trying to figure out how to get things on it. But yeah," Kitty agreed, shaking her head and almost-grinning a little lopsidedly as she went back to trimming again, "that's probably not a bad idea. He's probably had crazier people to deal with, right?" God, she hoped so. That was one record she really didn't wanna set. |
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| Magik | Apr 21 2014, 10:07 PM Post #63 |
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What IS an unseelie bitch, anyway?
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Illyana wasn't exactly surprised that it hurt. She was sure it did. Probably a lot. If it didn't, she kind of doubted that Kitty'd be looking to talk to anyone about it to begin with. Not that that negated her earlier point. But she was pretty sure it was worth pointing out, anyway. Kitty gave her a kind of weird look, and said "I'm stunned by your wisdom," shaking her head and cracking something that was almost, but not quite a smile. She nodded, grinning smugly. "You should be. It's not like I show any signs of wisdom often. It might be a first." Or close, at least. It probably deserved to be written on a calendar somewhere. Unfortunately, her wisdom apparently only went so far, because Kitty went back to scowling at her hair a moment later. And talking about all the stuff she didn't know how to get out, or how to put to rest. Which...okay. Again, if she could? Why would she be going to see a psychiatrist in the first place? That got a stare, then an eyeroll, and something that was almost a laugh, or at least bore some resemblance to one. "Well, you're the one that wanted to do the list!" she pointed out, waving the scissors briefly at the list in question, "I'm just trying to figure out how to get things on it. But yeah," Kitty agreed, shaking her head and almost-grinning a little lopsidedly as she went back to trimming again, "that's probably not a bad idea. He's probably had crazier people to deal with, right?" "I'd think so," Illyana agreed, grinning at her best friend in the mirror. "There's plenty around, from what I've seen. C'mon, look at the Snakes in Wyoming, and tell me that Chimera doesn't have you beat by like, a few million levels of crazy? They might have to start a new scale, just for her." Honestly, she wasn't sure why the woman wasn't in a padded room somewhere, assuming that was something they actually did and it wasn't just in old movies. She waved at the list with her hand, and shrugged. "I just figured if you were that worried about it, a few general category type things wouldn't hurt. You've got the camp down - that's gotta be the worst, right? What else? The time displacement thing?" Been there, done that herself, and she knew firsthand how much it sucked. She figured it had to be on there somewhere. |
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| Kitty Pryde | Apr 21 2014, 10:27 PM Post #64 |
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Unphased
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Well, Yana kind of had stating the obvious down at least. He wisdom, it was stunning. The other girl, of course, just nodded and grinned and looked way too smug. "You should be. It's not like I show any signs of wisdom often. It might be a first." Apparently that power of wisely stating the generally obvious extended to the divine revelation that she should probably save all this for the guy who knew what he was doing. Which, yeah, great. Except Yana had started this with the list and the headings and the writing down of things and now she was mired in...stuff. Stuff she didn't like and didn't know what to do with or how to even get it on the list. That definitely called for staring and eyerolling and something close to a laugh sort of thing before she went back to hair trimming duty. Yeah. Talking to the guy who actually did this stuff. Brilliant idea. Doc Samson had to have dealt with crazier people than her, right? Right?? "I'd think so," Illyana agreed, and that was at least a little reassuring, even if Yana was grinning at the same time. "There's plenty around, from what I've seen. C'mon, look at the Snakes in Wyoming, and tell me that Chimera doesn't have you beat by like, a few million levels of crazy? They might have to start a new scale, just for her." Okay, yeah, good point. In fact, Kitty would put bets down, and not be too afraid of loosing, that that whole team had her beat for crazy by a pretty wide margin. Then Yana waved at the list she was holding and shrugged. "I just figured if you were that worried about it, a few general category type things wouldn't hurt. You've got the camp down - that's gotta be the worst, right? What else? The time displacement thing?" Pausing again, Kitty thought about that, started to shake her head, then shrugged. "Y'know, I'm not sure," she answered, forehead wrinkling as she tried to figure it out. "The actual time displacement wasn't that bad. Weird," the brunette clarified, "but not bad. The missing a couple of years, yeah. That one's taking some getting used to and it's not happening all that fast. It was less than a week ago, for me, and here it's like everything was suddenly fast forwarded and I missed the whole middle part of the movie." Like a long, extra dimensional bathroom break, maybe. Though it was still better than being vaporized she guessed. |
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| Magik | Apr 21 2014, 10:52 PM Post #65 |
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What IS an unseelie bitch, anyway?
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The whole Resistance was made up of crazy people. Even ignoring a few of the ones she'd known at the camp (honestly, could anyone ever really call Betsy sane, given the stuff she'd done there? Or Calvin?) - well, they'd had the team-up with the Snakes the day before. Chimera alone deserved her own rating system for craziness. By comparison? Any problems Kitty might have really paled by comparison. The resident psychiatrist had definitely heard and seen worse. No doubt about it. Besides, it wasn't like she'd been asking Kitty to practice (not that she'd mind listening, but she wasn't sure just how far her new amazing wisdom abilities went when it came to a lot of things). Just to get herself some general headings down so if she got stuck, she had something to look at. Sort of like cheat notes. So, moving on. The camp was down on paper, and she figured that had to be the worst. Time displacement? It seemed like reasonable guess for the next item, but Kitty paused, shaking her head a little, then shrugged. "Y'know, I'm not sure," she answered, forehead wrinkling as she tried to figure it out. "The actual time displacement wasn't that bad. Weird," the brunette clarified, "but not bad. The missing a couple of years, yeah. That one's taking some getting used to and it's not happening all that fast. It was less than a week ago, for me, and here it's like everything was suddenly fast forwarded and I missed the whole middle part of the movie." Illyana started to nod, thought better of it in view of the scissors, and settled for wrinkling her nose. That was actually a really good description; better than the extended time out she usually thought of it as. "Yeah, I know how that goes," she acknowledged truthfully. "No matter how many times people give you the run down on "things that happened while you were gone", it doesn't make up for not being there to see it." She smiled a little and shrugged crookedly. "It will get better, but I know it takes me a while to wrap my head around it, and that's with me having done it to myself. And I've never lost two years. It's gotta suck." She paused a second, then offered, "At least it all worked out okay, right? I mean, things actually got better, and everyone's still around, and your boyfriend didn't take off with one of the Rainbow Brites or anything?" It wasn't much, maybe, but it was something. Things could've been worse. |
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| Kitty Pryde | Apr 22 2014, 02:30 PM Post #66 |
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Unphased
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Okay, yeah, that might be a point. Chimera, and possibly the whole Snakes team, probably ranked a lot higher on the crazy scale that she could manage. No matter how many issues she might have, she still wasn't going around naked, possibly stabbing people or setting them on fire. Or... Did Diamondback have a power? Other than to randomly steal other people's bodies and sleeping with inappropriate men? If she did, Kitty couldn't come up with whatever it might be. So, okay, yeah. Chances were Leonard Samson had heard worse, and seen crazier. She could admit that much. Even if that was about as far as she got before getting stuck again. Yeah, there was the Camp, that was a big thing with a lot of smaller things as subcategories. The time displacement, though? The teenager paused to think about that one for a second. What she came up with was that she really wasn't sure. The actual getting displaced in time and dimension wasn't that bad, after the initial shock wore off. Weird and deja vu-ish, mostly, but not really bad. Bad was more the couple of years she'd somehow missed in the travel time. That one was taking a lot more getting used to. A lot had changed in what was, for her, a few days. Less than a week. Everything, really. Nearly every single thing had changed and she was having trouble getting used to it. It wasn't happening very fast and she was having a hard time making sense of some stuff. Or a lot of stuff. It was, well, like going for a really long bathroom break during a movie and it got fast forwarded while you were gone and you came back to realize you'd missed the whole middle of the thing and it was almost at the end and you had no clue what had happened or what was going on. Only that movie was her life. Yana started to do something like nod, but then apparently remembered that wouldn't really do wonders for the hair trimming and wrinkled her nose instead. "Yeah, I know how that goes," she acknowledged truthfully. "No matter how many times people give you the run down on "things that happened while you were gone", it doesn't make up for not being there to see it." Kitty nodded herself then, letting out a sigh. Yeah, it just wasn't quite the same as being there for it. It didn't have the same impact. "It will get better, but I know it takes me a while to wrap my head around it, and that's with me having done it to myself. And I've never lost two years. It's gotta suck." Smiling back a little, Kitty nodded again. Yeah, it did, but she guessed if anyone would know it got better eventually, it was Yana. She'd missed a lot of time here while she was in Limbo. "Kind of, yeah," the brunette acknowledged, "I mean, I know I'll deal with it eventually, but you know me. No patience." Her best friend paused, then added, "At least it all worked out okay, right? I mean, things actually got better, and everyone's still around, and your boyfriend didn't take off with one of the Rainbow Brites or anything?" Caught by surprise with that, Kitty let out a laugh that was as much snort as anything, eyebrows shooting upward as she grinned into the mirror. "Take off with who? Mantis? Blink? Purple Girl, maybe?" Pretty much only under mind control, she figured, shaking her head. Then the grin sort of vanished again and she sighed, moving on to a new section of hair and concentrating on that. "Most stuff's better, yeah. But...I think I broke Bobby," she admitted, pulling a face. Yep, there was the guilt again. Guess she might as well learn to live with that, too. |
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| Magik | Apr 22 2014, 09:16 PM Post #67 |
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What IS an unseelie bitch, anyway?
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Time displacement definitely sucked. Not the actual displacement - that really wasn't any different than a normal teleport through Limbo. But the results? She could sympathize with that, even if she'd never lost two years at once. There was just no way to really get that time back. You could find out what had happened, but it wasn't the same as actually being there. Still, if nothing else, she could offer the knowledge that eventually, it did get better. In the interim? Yeah. It just sucked. "Kind of, yeah," the brunette acknowledged, "I mean, I know I'll deal with it eventually, but you know me. No patience." "Oh come on, not you," Illyana teased, grinning impishly, then sobered. And offered up the only consolation she could think of. At least Kitty'd come back to something at least somewhat better than she'd left, right? Everyone was still around, her boyfriend seemed ready and willing to pick up where they'd left off, and hadn't hooked up with anyone from one of the other teams in her absense. It could've been worse. Kitty let out a laugh that sounded genuine, at least, her eyebrows rising as she grinned at her reflection. "Take off with who? Mantis? Blink? Purple Girl, maybe?" "Well, I don't know!" Illyana pointed out, laughing at the images that formed there. Yeah, she might not know much about Bobby Drake, but she had to admit, none of those seemed all that likely. "There's always the Mystique-wanta be. Doug said she's hit on both him and Vance." Which was just creepy, on way too many levels. Kitty's grin vanished, though, and she sighed as she moved on to the next chunk of hair. "Most stuff's better, yeah. But...I think I broke Bobby," she admitted, pulling a face. It was Illyana's turn to frown, and she arched one eyebrow at her best friend's reflection. She had a feeling, based on a few things Doug had said, that she knew what Kitty meant, but since she wasn't sure, she wasn't going to try guessing. Besides... "He didn't look broken," she pointed out, then grinned a little. "In fact, he looked pretty good. You should really get him to go back to the underwear outfit." Okay, almost definitely not what Kitty'd meant, but still. It was worth pointing out. |
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| Kitty Pryde | Apr 24 2014, 10:18 PM Post #68 |
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Unphased
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Yeah, yeah. She knew. It took time. Everything took time, but this especially. The problem was, Kitty knew she'd never been particularly know for her great patience. "Oh come on, not you," Illyana teased, grinning impishly and Kitty made a face,then rolled her eyes. No point rubbing it in, she'd just admitted it. Then her best friend went back to being more serious, pointing out that Bobby had at least waited around. Which she was grateful for, but... Well, that was also part of the problem. No clue how to say that, though, or explain it. Not so it'd make any sense at all. Instead, it was easier to joke around a little again. Focus on just which Brite Yana thought he might run off with while she was 'dead'. Mantis? Blink? Maybe Purple Girl? Nope, none of that worked in her head, really. "Well, I don't know!" Illyana pointed out, laughing as Kitty kept with the trimming and tried to decide whether or not to point out that she'd been the one to start it. "There's always the Mystique-wanta be. Doug said she's hit on both him and Vance." "Oh god," she interjected, feeling the need to stop long enough to make another face. "Yeah, no. No way ever. She'd terrify Bobby and even if she didn't I don't think he wants to date anybody that looks like Rogue's mom." At least she hoped not, because that was just scarring. Back to the serious stuff, though, because...well, there wasn't really any getting away from it and at this point, Kitty knew she shouldn't be trying to. The truth was, most stuff was better, in an overall, non-personal way. It was the more personal stuff that was an issue. Like the fact that she was pretty sure she'd managed to break her boyfriend and break him a very real way. A way that she probably should've...something. Paid more attention to, since she got back? Acknowledged more? But she didn't know how to even start doing any of that, because what she might find out really scared her. It was so much responsibility for another person and she didn't know how to deal with that. "He didn't look broken," she pointed out, then grinned a little. "In fact, he looked pretty good. You should really get him to go back to the underwear outfit." Okay, now she had to pause for facepalming. Thankfully, the brunette remembered to not do that with the hand holding the sheers. "No, no I shouldn't. Nobody should have to have underwear as their costume," Kitty informed her with a snort and a shake of her head. "Stop thinking about my boyfriend in his underwear," she added with another wrinkle of her nose. But the amusement didn't last long and it faded away again as she shrugged and went back to the trimming. It was easier somehow to focus on that when she talked about it. "I know he's okay physically, it's the rest I'm not so sure about. It's like..." Pausing, she stared at the piece of hair she was trimming for a second, "It's like he stopped living, maybe, when he thought I died and I never, ever wanted that. Not even a little." |
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| Magik | Apr 25 2014, 06:15 PM Post #69 |
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What IS an unseelie bitch, anyway?
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Eww. Yeah, dating someone who looked like Rogue's mom would just be...wrong. On basic, fundamental, scary levels. Scratch dating random Rainbow Brites; it was no wonder the guy was still single after two years. Even if, as she felt the need to point out in response to Kitty's next comment, he didn't look all that broken. In fact, he'd looked pretty good in his underwear. Definitely a nice butt. Kitty really should encourage him to go back to the underwear uniform he'd worn when she was little. It'd be some kind of public service. What, in that, necessitated facepalming Yana wasn't entirely sure, but at least her best friend remembered not to do it with the hand holding the scissors. "No, no I shouldn't. Nobody should have to have underwear as their costume," she said with a snort and a shake of her head. Illyana opened her mouth to point out that she didn't see any reason why not, but was sternly (or sort of sternly, at least) told, "Stop thinking about my boyfriend in his underwear," before she could continue. Well, fine then. Illyana made a quick show of pouting (which the situation pretty much demanded, she figured), and just waited. Given her former roommate's shrug and the way she was focusing on hair cutting with an intensity that it really didn't warrant, she sort of figured the younger girl had more to say. Further compliments of Bobby's butt could wait until later. She wasn't wrong. "I know he's okay physically, it's the rest I'm not so sure about. It's like..." she paused, and Illyana's eyebrows rose a little, expectantly. "It's like he stopped living, maybe, when he thought I died and I never, ever wanted that. Not even a little." "I'm not entirely sure you get to choose how people react after you're dead," Illyana mused, considering that part first. Granted, it'd be nice, and seeing as Kitty wasn't actually dead it threw a definite level of complication into the works, but still. He'd thought she had been, right? "I'm not sure he stopped living, though. I mean, if he had, he'd be dead, right? And from what Doug said, he kept pretty busy blowing things up and writing and making videos with Johnny Storm. Maybe he just wasn't looking for a new girlfriend?" Granted, it had maybe sounded like more than that, but she honestly wasn't sure. At the time, she'd been more interested in seeing the video than in the details of what had sounded like Kitty's former boyfriend's depression. |
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| Kitty Pryde | Apr 27 2014, 04:41 PM Post #70 |
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Unphased
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Okay, ignoring the best friend pouting about not being able to look at her boyfriend in his underwear. Moving on. Physically, yeah, she knew Bobby was okay. Even when he tended to explode or disintegrate every now and then. She didn't much like that, but she still knew he was usually okay. Emotionally, that she wasn't sure about. At all. It was like...when he thought she died, he just kinda gave up. Stopped living or something. Or stopped thinking there was a reason to keep trying to live. Sure, he was alive and had stayed alive, but...it wasn't quite the same thing she'd been talking about. She hadn't asked a lot of questions, maybe because she really hadn't wanted to know all the details. Didn't want to know what she'd been responsible for, even if she'd never, ever wanted that for him. Or anything like that for him. For either of them, because she wasn't sure she could be that responsible for somebody else. That if something happened to her, they couldn't ever get over it, move past it. Things like that, they only sounded romantic in novels and fairy tales. When it came to real life, they were stressful and she wasn't sure what to do about it, or how to talk to him about it, or if she even could. That wasn't exactly fair to him, but there was only so much she could deal with at once. She was trying to get there, but like she'd just said, it wasn't happening as fast as she'd have liked. "I'm not entirely sure you get to choose how people react after you're dead," Illyana mused and that was true enough. But... "Should what I would want at least matter a little, though?" Maybe not, since she'd been 'dead' and that kind of negated her having any say, she guessed. But the problem was, she wasn't dead, and she was here and having an idea how he'd taken it, it changed some things. And she couldn't help that, either. "I'm not sure he stopped living, though. I mean, if he had, he'd be dead, right? And from what Doug said, he kept pretty busy blowing things up and writing and making videos with Johnny Storm. Maybe he just wasn't looking for a new girlfriend?" Frowning, Kitty shook her head and tried to figure out how all that worked with what she was talking about. Probably, she just wasn't explaining it worth a crap. "I'm pretty sure you can stop living without actually dying. You can keep existing and not really be living." She'd seen Peter do that, after they came back from the Beyonder's world. Over Zsaji, even though he'd barely known her and even though he'd apparently eventually moved past it. She'd seen her grandfather do it, when her grandmother died. He hadn't really got past it and it'd been awful for everyone, especially him. "We had lots of people like that in the Camp," she reminded Yana. Not that that was quite the same, either, but they definitely hadn't been living, even by Camp standards, and they definitely hadn't been dead, either. "I just...I'm not sure how to deal with being responsible for somebody else like that," Kitty added with a shrug, and not knowing exactly how the hell to explain it. "I don't want somebody to break just because something happens to me. Or because things don't work out like they were supposed to. That scares me a lot." And they'd seen it before, hadn't they? With Maddie, who'd had no choice and couldn't let Scott go. And who'd completely lost her mind over it. Yeah, she just couldn't be responsible for that. She couldn't be the only thing holding someone else together. |
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| Magik | Apr 27 2014, 10:04 PM Post #71 |
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What IS an unseelie bitch, anyway?
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"Should what I would want at least matter a little, though?" It was a good question, Illyana had to admit. Still, she wasn't altogether sure how to answer. Or if that even applied, really. "Maybe?" she guessed, probably unhelpfully. "But y'know, people sort of react how they're going to react. I'm not sure they can really Not just because you don't want them to. Or...wouldn't have wanted them to." She frowned a little, because that didn't sound quite right either, but let it go. Apparently, possible death was as hard to talk about, verb tense-wise, as time travel. No big deal. In any case, she wasn't altogether sure Bobby'd "stopped living". Even ignoring the fact he'd been alive that morning (hungover, yes, but definitely living), it sounded as if he'd been pretty busy while Kitty was gone. Depressed, maybe - she seemed to remember Doug mentioning that - but busy. Maybe he wasn't as broken as Kitty seemed to think? That seemed to confuse Kitty, and she shook her head. "I'm pretty sure you can stop living without actually dying. You can keep existing and not really be living." Which was true. She'd seen people like that in the camp; they went through the motions, but didn't really live. Apparently, her friend's mind was running along the same path, because she added, "We had lots of people like that in the Camp," she reminded Yana. "So, you think that's what he was doing?" she asked, mouth pulling to one side as she considered it. If he had been, he'd apparently made quite a recovery, but she supposed that was possible. Still... "He didn't really seem like that when I first got here," she observed, remembering his reaction to seeing the other Kitty. Though to be fair, that probably wasn't a great example, all things considered. "I just...I'm not sure how to deal with being responsible for somebody else like that," Kitty added with a shrug, and not knowing exactly how the hell to explain it. "I don't want somebody to break just because something happens to me. Or because things don't work out like they were supposed to. That scares me a lot." Illyana nodded slowly, then chewed at her lip as she thought about it. "Are you going to break up with him, then?" she asked. "Because..." she shook her head, trying to figure out what she was trying to say, "well, if you can't deal with it, I'm not sure what else there is to do. I don't think you can really tell him 'You have to cope with things better,' and expect that to work." She made a face, and eyed her former roomate in the mirror. "Are you sure he broke over you, though? Most of the people in the camp - well, there was more to it than just one thing. Maybe you were just like, the final straw or something." Or maybe not. It wasn't like she really had a clue. |
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| Kitty Pryde | Apr 29 2014, 09:41 PM Post #72 |
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Unphased
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Maybe it was selfish to think that, but Kitty still couldn't really help it. Shouldn't what she would've wanted, or what she did want, matter? At least a little? "Maybe?" she guessed, as Kitty pursed her lips. "But y'know, people sort of react how they're going to react. I'm not sure they can really Not just because you don't want them to. Or...wouldn't have wanted them to." Nodding thoughtfully, since yeah, she guessed that was right and maybe it really was selfish of her, Kitty focused her attention back on the hair trimming. Which, to her surprise, was probably half done or more now. Hopefully in a straight, go together way more than a non-straight, weird looking way. "Yeah, I guess they will," she agreed. Or, well agreed with some of it, anyway. Since she was absolutely sure you could stop living without actually dying. Plenty of people had done that in the Camp when she was there. Probably they had when Yana was there, too. "So, you think that's what he was doing?" she asked, mouth pulling to one side as she considered it and, after a short pause, Kitty shrugged. Did she know for sure? No. He'd told her some of it and, well, maybe it wasn't to Camp extent, but that's kind of what it had reminded her of a little. "He didn't really seem like that when I first got here," she observed as Kitty frowned. How would Yana really know? It hadn't sounded like they'd exactly even met, much less spent time together. "I dunno," she said with a frustrated sigh, looking up and pausing with the trimming again. She didn't know for sure, she only knew what he'd told her, and the bits she'd gotten from other people, though nobody really seemed to want to talk about it directly. And the 'feeling' she had, which wasn't exactly a scientifically based fool proof thing. Mostly, she wasn't sure how to deal with what felt like a huge responsibility. How to explain it wasn't exactly easy, she wasn't even sure how to start. It felt like...too much and she wasn't sure she could deal with somebody breaking because something happened to her or because things didn't work out or...whatever. It scared the crap out of her. She didn't even know what to do with herself, much less somebody else. Yana nodded, teeth tugging at her lip. "Are you going to break up with him, then?" she asked. "Because..." she shook her head, trying to figure out what she was trying to say, "well, if you can't deal with it, I'm not sure what else there is to do. I don't think you can really tell him 'You have to cope with things better,' and expect that to work." She made a face, and eyed her former roommate in the mirror. "Are you sure he broke over you, though? Most of the people in the camp - well, there was more to it than just one thing. Maybe you were just like, the final straw or something." With another heavy sigh, Kitty went back to trimming, hoping focusing on that would help somehow. "No, I don't want to break up with him," she answered, "but that doesn't mean I should just have to deal with everything without being worried or upset or feeling overwhelmed, either, does it?" God, she was losing her whole point here, or she felt like she was. Like she couldn't keep hold of it. "I know I can't just tell him to cope. Hell, I can't even tell me to do that, but I don't know what to do, or how to fix anything or...anything." Shaking her head again, she looked back up briefly into the mirror, "Yeah, he had issues before. So did I. So did pretty much everyone. People we knew died. Lots of them. More people we knew keep trying to kill us. A lot of awful stuff happened. I just...I have no clue what to do. At all. I guess that's the thing. Because what if I just make it worse?" And she was wondering if she wasn't, just by coming back. What to do to fix it, help it, not make it worse or not feel like she was smothering under the weight of maybe being the cause of it because she did something she felt like she had to do and needed to do and it went wrong. So yeah. Not a damned clue. |
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| Magik | Apr 30 2014, 09:20 AM Post #73 |
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What IS an unseelie bitch, anyway?
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Nice though it would be to be able to just tell people how to react to your death, Illyana wasn't at all sure that could work. It was sort of like...well, like telling someone they shouldn't be upset. Half the time, you just made them more upset than they were to begin with. People were going to respond to things however they were going to respond, whether you really approved or not. Apparently, that made sense to her best friend, who seemed to be thinking it over as she nodded. "Yeah, I guess they will," she agreed. Huh. Maybe she didn't totally suck at this after all. Who knew? She wasn't on a roll, though, given that the younger girl's reaction to her comment that Bobby hadn't really seemed like he was "not living" when she'd arrived was to frown. She shrugged a little, not sure what else to say, or if she should say anything. Granted, she didn't know, and, well, considering that the other Kitty had been there throwing herself at Wisdom, she wasn't altogether sure it was representative, anyway. Still, when she thought of not-living, she thought of the people at the camps who just sort of sat there and stared. He hadn't seemed as if he'd been doing that. Which, admittedly, didn't mean he hadn't gone inside and done it later. She really didn't know. "I dunno," Kitty said with a frustrated sigh, then went on to explain how she couldn't handle the responsibility. For which Yana couldn't blame her. On the other hand, she wasn't sure, other than breaking up with the guy, how Kitty could exactly avoid having a boyfriend who fell apart when she died. If, as she pointed out, that had been why he'd fallen apart. She wasn't altogether sure of that - it seemed like something that only happened in bad romance novels. There almost had to be something else there, too. Kitty sighed again, then went back to hair cutting, which Illyana very much hoped wasn't being impacted by the other girl's mood, not to mention her own shrugging. "No, I don't want to break up with him," she answered, "but that doesn't mean I should just have to deal with everything without being worried or upset or feeling overwhelmed, either, does it?" "No," Illyana replied, smiling crookedly. "I'm pretty sure you get to feel however you'd feel, too." And worried, upset, and overwhelmed sounded pretty reasonable to her. It was that sort of situation. "I know I can't just tell him to cope. Hell, I can't even tell me to do that, but I don't know what to do, or how to fix anything or...anything." Shaking her head again, she looked back up briefly into the mirror, "Yeah, he had issues before. So did I. So did pretty much everyone. People we knew died. Lots of them. More people we knew keep trying to kill us. A lot of awful stuff happened. I just...I have no clue what to do. At all. I guess that's the thing. Because what if I just make it worse?" What if she...oh. Okay, that she could understand. The rest too, obviously, but she wasn't really sure there was anything to comment on there. The last part, though... "I don't think you're really responsible for fixing him," she said slowly, thinking it over as she spoke. "Any more than you're responsible for him not being able to deal with stuff, or he's responsible for fixing you. I mean," she paused again, trying to come up with some kind of analogy, "you probably want to, just like I wanted to be able to fix Jamie when we got to the camp and he absorbed that dupe Terry'd been running around with. And I'm guessing that Bobby probably wishes he could snap his fingers and fix you, or just kinda make it all better. I'm pretty sure that comes with the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing." She paused for a second and looked up to catch Kitty's eyes in the mirror. "But...people pretty much have to fix themselves, I think. All you can really do is let them know you get it and you'll listen." She smiled crookedly and shrugged, despite her earlier resolution not to do any more shrugging until her hair was done. "And, y'know, kinda cross your fingers and hope for the best? But if Jamie can survive all the stupid crap I do, I'm pretty sure you're not going to make anything so worse that Bobby can't." |
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| Kitty Pryde | May 1 2014, 01:52 PM Post #74 |
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Unphased
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Arrrrgh! Why was it so hard to find words for stuff? Or at least this stuff? She knew how she felt, mostly, but getting it to come out right, or come out at all, was turning out to be a real pain. Great. So when she finally got up the nerve to talk to Doc Samson, she probably wouldn't actually manage to talk to him. She'd just...sit there and stare at him. Maybe think at him. Maybe she should considering bringing along a telepath? Yeah, she knew people couldn't always help how they reacted to stuff. It wasn't even that. Or not exactly. Not so much that Bobby seemed to have maybe reacted that way but...maybe that he'd just kept reacting that way from the bits and pieces she'd gathered and from what he'd told her himself? God, she didn't know. There were lots of ways to not actually live, even when you're alive, and she was afraid her 'dying' had sent Bobby into one of those. It was too much. Too much responsibility for the complete well being of someone else. Too much guilt. Just...too much. Like she was suffocating under it and didn't know how to do anything about it. Or if he could do anything about it. It was overwhelming and, no, she didn't wanna break up with him. She loved him. But that didn't mean she just had to deal with...whatever, without having the right to be worried or overwhelmed or upset herself, did it? Without wanting things to be different? Better. "No," Illyana replied, smiling crookedly. "I'm pretty sure you get to feel however you'd feel, too." Except she wasn't so sure. Was it fair to be upset at something Bobby might not be able to help or control? It definitely wasn't fair to just tell him to cope, especially when she couldn't even tell herself to do that and get it to work. But she didn't know how to fix it, not anything. Sure, Bobby'd had issues before all this. All of them had. How the hell could they not, considering all the people that'd died and the people that had been their friends once being responsible for that? All of them had had to deal with it. Losing people they loved, over and over. There wasn't anyone that hadn't, and maybe that was part of it, too, but... Yeah, just no idea what to do. At all. Especially without maybe making it worse. "I don't think you're really responsible for fixing him," she said slowly, and maybe not, but it was hard not to feel that way when she felt like it was her fault he might be broken. "Any more than you're responsible for him not being able to deal with stuff, or he's responsible for fixing you. I mean," she paused again, and Kitty let out another sigh, nodding slowly, "you probably want to, just like I wanted to be able to fix Jamie when we got to the camp and he absorbed that dupe Terry'd been running around with. And I'm guessing that Bobby probably wishes he could snap his fingers and fix you, or just kinda make it all better. I'm pretty sure that comes with the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing." She paused for a second and looked up to catch Kitty's eyes in the mirror. "But...people pretty much have to fix themselves, I think. All you can really do is let them know you get it and you'll listen." Nodding again, one side of her mouth quirked up a little wryly. "Yeah, not sure how great I've been at that, either." Or at least she seemed to be missing a lot of stuff and getting him upset, like in Westchester. Yana smiled a little crookedly, too, lifting her shoulders in a shrug. "And, y'know, kinda cross your fingers and hope for the best? But if Jamie can survive all the stupid crap I do, I'm pretty sure you're not going to make anything so worse that Bobby can't." Then she was frowning again a little, because she wasn't so sure about that. Now that Yana was finished shrugging, though, hopefully, she could finish out the trimming, maybe. "I'm not sure I wanna just leave it to hope and chance," Kitty finally said, since...well, that didn't seem to be working all that great for much of anybody. "I mean, we did that with Scott, didn't we? Just let him go off and hoped he could sort himself out and, well, look what happened there. I don't want to be Maddie and Scott or Scott and Jean," the brunette added more thoughtfully, brows drawing together as she looked up in the mirror again at her best friend. "I don't want to be someone another person can't go on without, and I don't want to be a person that can't move on from losing somebody I love. I don't want to be like that, and I don't want Bobby to be like that, because look what happened to them." And all of the rest of them because of it. She'd seen what losing Scott did to Maddie, what losing Jean did to Scott, what Scott's death, and the whole mess that came before it, did to Jean. No. No way in hell could she deal with that. No way was she going to be that. |
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| Magik | May 2 2014, 01:59 PM Post #75 |
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What IS an unseelie bitch, anyway?
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Could you actually fix someone? Illyana wasn't so sure. Oh, you could be there. You could listen. You could urge them to get help. But ultimately - well, there'd been people over the years who'd wanted to fix her, and it really hadn't worked out so well. She wasn't at all sure that was something anyone could actually do. And honestly, she wasn't altogether sure that anyone really needed fixing here, anyway. Kitty needed to talk stuff out and get back some self-confidence, yeah. Bobby - she didn't know what he needed, exactly, other than to stop writing letters to dead people. Given that he'd definitely not been writing when she'd popped in earlier, it seemed like a pretty good start. She said as much - well, the part about not listening and being there, anyway, but while her best friend nodded, she didn't look altogether convinced, either. "Yeah, not sure how great I've been at that, either." Illyana snorted at that, then grinned just a little. "No one's saying you've gotta be perfect, Pryde," she pointed out, knowing full well that her former roommate probably figured that she did. "I mean, you managed to listen to me for how many years? I'll give you a letter of recommendation if it'll make you feel better." Honestly, if Jamie could survive all the stupid shit she did on a regular basis (and he seemed to be surviving it pretty well, all things considered), she doubted Bobby was any less resilient. If Kitty lost her well-known temper now and then, she doubted that would come as any kind of surprise to the guy. Regardless, though (and Forge would probably put it under the category of her hoping and wishing too much) she still maintained that sometimes, you had to cross your fingers and hope for the best. If she could manage that, she was pretty sure Kitty could, too. Or maybe not, given the way Kitty was frowning now. "I'm not sure I wanna just leave it to hope and chance," Kitty finally said, since...well, that didn't seem to be working all that great for much of anybody. "I mean, we did that with Scott, didn't we? Just let him go off and hoped he could sort himself out and, well, look what happened there. I don't want to be Maddie and Scott or Scott and Jean," the brunette added more thoughtfully, brows drawing together as she looked up in the mirror again at her best friend. "I don't want to be someone another person can't go on without, and I don't want to be a person that can't move on from losing somebody I love. I don't want to be like that, and I don't want Bobby to be like that, because look what happened to them." Illyana's eyebrows rose skeptically. "Okay, you're now comparing yourself and your boyfriend to a guy with zero social skills and no life outside the X-Men, and a woman who was actually genetically engineered and programmed to fall in love with him?" she asked, just to clarify the situation. "Who, it has to be said, was also created to look exactly like his ex-girlfriend? I'm pretty sure that's not you, and if that were the case with Bobby, he'd have been all over your dupe when she showed up. And he wasn't." He'd looked sort of stunned, granted, but hell. Seeing Kitty tackle hug Wisdom would've been enough to stun her if she'd met the guy before. She was still feeling sort of stunned about it now. She grinned just a little, then added, "I've also not heard any predictions that we're going into a new ice age or anything, so I think the universe is probably safe enough. But again, I'm not sure you can really just tell him, 'Hey, I don't want to be the center of your life'." She frowned a little, then added, "Also? I get what you're saying, but...I'm not quite sure why you'd want to. I've been the not-center for the last year. It actually kinda sucks. Maybe he just needs some anti-depressants and to spend less time sitting around writing letters to dead people?" Which was what he'd been doing, right? She was pretty sure that was what Doug had told her; something about Bobby writing letters to Kitty and various dead X-Men that hadn't been any use at all when he'd "borrowed" them for Singular Vision research. Definitely not the makings of the next Inferno. It sounded to her like the guy was in more imminent danger of carpal tunnel syndrome. |
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3:33 AM Jul 11