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| The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 6 2015, 11:52 PM (183 Views) | |
| Yus | Dec 6 2015, 11:52 PM Post #1 |
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![]() Sometimes... the world is just not ready for the legend it produces. Sometimes... he must take the world by storm. Sometimes... he must assert his will over others and prove to the entire universe that he exists. The legend: Yus The World: Earth His Job? Total domination, though style. With a saucy flourish of his hand Yus mounted one of the highest stones he could find atop the Mountainous peaks that lay beyond him. He had crested them at the sun’s first light so he might witness the land that would soon be his in all of it’s splendor. “Alright! YEAH! I’m ten times the badass I use to be. Check it~ I’m gonna rule this land with peace, love, and my winning smile. Don’t try to stop me Mr. Land ‘cause I’m too hot for you to-” The land responded. Quite obviously. The rocks beneath him gave way and he was sent cascading down the rocky crag he had taken the last two hours to summit. It had been sweaty work and he’d really only done it out of a sense of vanity. His pride injured he stood up once again and threatened the mountain with one accusing finger. “Yo! Bro! ‘Das not coo’! We got a beef here? Because I don’t normally have beefs with mountains and shi’ but if we have a beef I am gonna’ take you down, you dig?” Rolling his shoulder in it’s socket and smirked at his mountainous... mountain foe. It really was a big mountain. Like at least a few hundred feed and it did look kinda scary. Still, Yus wasn’t going to take that from a mountain and CERTAINLY not from this one... with it’s dumb-looking peak and grass and stones and stuff. It was mocking him, like REALLY hardcore. “Oh yeah?!” Yus yelled demandingly at the mountain, his voice echoing from pure unadulterated awesomeness. “OH YEAH!? Well take this!” He yelled and inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly- a whistling noise escaping his maw. He punched the air with his thumb up and a ki blast in the shape of his fist (essentially a “thumbs up” symbol) flew out and struck the mountain firmly in its.... well it’s body he guessed (Mountains have bodies right?). “Psht. Bet you won’t try mess’en with the Yus-man now!” He yelled. The attack HAD left a crater, about ten by ten in the dirt about half way up. It was a pretty decent size... then again, in comparison to an entire mountain it was but a drop of water in the ocean. ![]() Just then a little girl who was walking the mountain road stopped by. “Hey’a there mister. What ‘cha doin’?” Yus flicked his nose, “Just kill’en a mountain. You know, normal god stuff.” “Yeah? You are going to destroy that mountain? Red Bean mountain is in the way, if it was gone I’d be able to avoid taking the long path between my little village and the market.” “Yeah. That’s kinda what I’m doing... I guess.” Yus lied, rubbing his chin and looking off into the distance distractedly. “REALLLY! That’s great! Thank you so much mister!” “Yeah, don’t mention it or stuff. I do this kind of thing all the time, you know- I’m kind of a legend.” “Really? Who are you mister?” Yus snorted like a bull, consumed with passion, and his eyes went wide. “WHAT!?! YOU DO NOT KNOW OF THE MAGNIFICENCE THAT IS YUS HACHIMAN, AVATAR OF THE GOD OF WAR, HERO TO THE PEOPLE, PLAGUE TO THE DARKNESS, AND THREE TIME NBA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP CHAMPION?!” His gestures were impossibly dramatic, over-exaggerated in the extreme (bordering on the grotesque), and accompanied by a voice that matched them. After the little display, the little girl began to clap excitedly. “Oh! I didn’t know! That’s so cool!” Yus gripped his jaw and closed his eyes, tipping it downward in a dismissive “cool” gesture, “Don’t mention it babe.” “Well, I’ll be back in a week! I can’t wait to take the new pass!” “A week? Psht, no problem. See you then.” Once she was out of sight he eyed the mountain, “You and me bro? We got a date with destiny...” The two sized each other up (kind). Yus glared at the mountain and the mountain... was a mountain (it just kind of sat there... you know, being a mountain and stuff). “HAAA!” He screamed, his voice raw, and he fired a SECOND fist-shaped blast at the mountain, the earth trembling (well, not really- but in his mind it did) as he did so. ![]() “TAKE THAT BRO! HAD ENOUGH!?” The mountain did not reply as it was not a sentient creature with the capacity for speech- a fact that further enraged the already tainted legend in the making that was YUS HACHIMAN! Still, undefeated he UNLEASHED A THIRD! OH THE HUMANITY! This time the ki blast was exactly the same as the last one and had the EXACT SAME EFFECT! The mountain did not reply as it was STILL a most devious and foul non-sentient geological feature comprised mostly of dirt, limestone, and other various minerals (THE FIEND!) Then he unleashed his true fury on the completely inanimate and ill-defined geographic feature. He struck the dirt time and and time again with his fists. He ripped great clumps of grass and threw them several whole feet from where they had once been! He clawed at the dirt! He kicked rocks ineffectively! He screamed with the fury of a warrior! He courageously ate a nice lunch his mother had packed him on his “little climbing thing”! He expertly played some flappy birds on his phone! He masterfully checked his email and vanquished the most heinous spam mail that lay within his inbox! He bravely called his friend to confirm their plans to hit the club were still on for that evening and gallantly told his friend that “Missy was such a jerk to us last time we will not invite her this time”! Yes! His exploits were many and his trials were near impossible but he soldiered on for entire minutes! And then Yus decided the whole thing was just too hard and he called his parents and they hired an excavation crew to clear it out and install a new road. Fighting a mountain was stupid and hard. Who even did that? WC: 1018- like a boss!
Edited by Yus, Dec 7 2015, 12:11 AM.
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4:39 AM Jul 11