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KOEI Warriors Family; Where crazy is ordinary!
Topic Started: Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:06 am (4,927,958 Views)
Haru
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不愉快です
[ *  *  *  * ]
Pingpat
Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:36 pm
:mellow:
:mellow:
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Claus
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old hag
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Yachi
Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:43 pm
Pingpat
Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:36 pm
:mellow:
:mellow:
:mellow:
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Lord_Dragon
.....................
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
:realangry:
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Haru
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不愉快です
[ *  *  *  * ]
Lord_Dragon
Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:46 pm
:realangry:
grandpa :mellow:
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Claus
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old hag
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Lord_Dragon
Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:46 pm
:realangry:
:o
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Haru
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不愉快です
[ *  *  *  * ]
it died
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Claus
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old hag
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Yep. :mellow:
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Haru
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不愉快です
[ *  *  *  * ]
:mellow:
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Claus
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old hag
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:hehe:
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Lord_Dragon
.....................
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Yachi
Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:46 pm
Lord_Dragon
Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:46 pm
:realangry:
grandpa :mellow:
:huh:
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Claus
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old hag
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
:o
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Haru
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不愉快です
[ *  *  *  * ]
hum hum
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Pride
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孟德
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
*puts loads and loads of ice cream in a box, then buries it, and puts the map in L_D's pocket*


*awaits Yachi to start the chaos*
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French Overlord
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Emperor's Retainer
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
5h 32min 20sec
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Haru
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不愉快です
[ *  *  *  * ]
:o :o :o :o
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Pride
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孟德
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Yachi
Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:23 pm
:o :o :o :o
*points at L_D then disappears*
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Ghost Of Da Qiao
Right General
[ *  *  *  *  * ]

SHU- SHOW AND TELL

Liu Bei: Everyone! To celebrate our success in the conquest of Han Zhong, I thought it would be nice to have a celebration day. What do you think?
Yue Ying: I think that's a splendid idea! Don't you, dear?
Zhuge Liang: Indeed. There is a lot of opportunity that awaits Lord Liu Bei. I say we throw a party.
Wei Yan: Show..and..tell.
*Yue Ying looks at Wei Yan*
Wei Yan: Show...and..tell.
Yue Ying: A show and tell day? I think that's a splendid idea! Don't you, dear?
Zhuge Liang: Indeed. I have already prepared my Show and tell.
Yue Ying: What? But Wei Yan only just mentioned i-
Zhuge Liang: I read his mind three days ago, just like when Liu Bei knocked on my door three times.
Yue Ying:...Ohhh.
Huang Zhong: Hmm...show and tell...not a bad idea. FINALLY I found something that I can do with you kids.

Later in the day...

Liu Bei: The stage is set. Are you all ready?
Everyone: Yes!

Liu Bei: Okay.
.....

........
....
..
(Whispering) Zhuge Liang: You're supposed to LEAD your people..
Liu Bei: Oh!
Umm...Okay, Zhao Yun you first!
Huang Zhong: Why does that whelp always get to go first?
Liu Bei: Whelp!? He saved my son!
*Everyone looks at Liu Chan hiding behind the curtains*
Zhao Yun: Okay..*cough*
BEHOLD THE SPEAR OF LITTLE DRAGON
Everyone: Ooooh....
Wei Yan: Boring.
Huang Zhong: We've had to see you use it every day in battle. Can't you show us something a little different!?
Zhao Yun: Fine. Behold the spear of... .. LITTLE..DRAGON!
Everyone: OOOH...!!
Zhuge Liang: Yue Ying, cover your eyes!!
Yue Ying: B-but...wow..
Liu Bei: Umm..uhh...*sweats* Thankyou Zhao Yun. NEXT!
Yue Ying: Wait a minute, he hasn't even told us anything about it!
*Everyone goes silent*
Zhao Yun: Fine. It's a really really really really REALLY really-
Liu Bei: NEXT I SAY!
Zhao Yun: Yes sir. *walks off stage*
Liu Bei: Zhang Fei, you're next!
Zhang Fei: *pulls Xing Cai out from the audience* This is my daughter!
Xing Cai: Uh dad, I think they know that.
Zhang Fei: And she's the sweetest daughter anyone could ever have. Her big heart and extraordinary looks will get her very far in life.
Xing Cai: *blush* Aww...but I think they knew that too.
Everyone: YAY!!
Liu Bei: Next!
Wei Yan: Hi.
Everyone: Hi!
Wei Yan: Points to mask. This is a mask.
*Everyone nods in agreement*
Wei Yan: Thankyou. *walks off stage*
*Everyone applauds*
Liu Bei: Next is brother Guan Yu!
Guan Yu: This is my beard.
Everyone: Oooh...aahhh!
Guan Yu: The shampoo I use? Head and shoulders. The perfume I use? Calvine Kline. The soap I use? Dove. The medicine I use? Paracetamol. The cleaning product I use? TCP. If you can't clean it, TCP it. Bazooka that Varuka. Maybe it's Maybellene. Because you're worth it. I use nightole to give it a good sleep everyday.

*Everyone sits silently*

Liu Bei: Wow Guan Yu...I never knew..
Liu Bei: Next up, Zhuge Liang.

Zhuge Liang: Behold, my strategy books. They were the key to my lords victory. Without them, he would have never gotten this far. He has to thank me now. *turns to Liu Bei*
Liu Bei:...Huh?
Zhuge Liang: Thank me.
Liu Bei: Uh...thankyou?
Zhuge Liang. No, you must thank me three times, like when you knocked three times on the door to the heavens.
*Yue Ying slaps forehead*
Liu Bei: Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou.
Zhuge Liang: Indeed.
Zhuge Liang: I have made a copy of each of my strategy books for you all to read. I want you to read it in the mornings, evenings and afternoons. Before meals and after meals, and as a prayer before you go to bed. Afterwards say ''Thankyou Zhuge Liang for the bread we eat and the wine we drink.''
*Everyone looks at eachother*
Zhuge Liang: Liu Bei, you take one too.
Liu Bei: Thankyou..
Zhuge Liang: SAY IT THREE TIMES AND SAY THANKYOU ZHUGE LIANG FOR THE BREAD WE EAT AND THE WINE WE DRINK...THREE TIMES!
Liu Bei: *sigh* Thankyou Zhuge Liang for the bread we eat and the wine we drink, three times.
Zhuge Liang: That's better.
Liu Bei: Umm okay...n-next.
Ma Chao: I am Ma Chao!
Everyone: 'kay.
Ma Chao: Is justice with us?
Everyone: Yes.
Ma Chao: AH SAYED, IS JUSTICE WITH US??!
Everyone: YES!
Ma Chao: I can't hear you!
Everyone: YESSSS!!!!!!
Ma Chao: Good, that's what I like to hear! *walks off stage*
Liu Bei: Wait, you haven't even shown us anything!
Ma Chao: I've shown you the true meaning of justice, and the people have just told me what justice is.
Liu Bei: *Slaps forehead again* Please...the next person that comes up be decent..
Jiang Wei: I'm next. Be proud Prime Minister!
Liu Bei: Ah! Jiang Wei! You won't disappoint me!
Jiang Wei: Prime Minister, give me orders. Quickly! I'm up on stage!
Zhuge Liang: But Jiang Wei, you're supposed to have already prepared something.
Jiang Wei: No! I will not do anything if prime minister had not agreed on it!
Zhuge Liang: Then why didn't you ask me if I agreed?
Jiang Wei: I was waiting for you to ask me to ask you! And besides, you never told me to prepare anything for show and tell in the first place. Liu Bei did!
*Zhuge Liang slaps forehead*
Zhuge Liang: Excuse me Liu Bei, while I help Jiang Wei get something ready for show and tell. We will be back in a few hours.
Liu Bei:...........right..
*Everyone gossips*
Liu Bei: Alright, nothing to see here!
Huang Zhong: Well duh, then this wouldn't be show and-
Liu Bei: NEXT!
Pang Tong: See these cards? Why do they look like this?
Ma Chao: Because they're cards?
Pang Tong: That's right! But why else?
Yue Ying: Because you're hiding one up your sleeve!
Pang Tong:..Damn, you ruined my entire trick. *Walks off stage*
Zhang Fei: Uh...brother...you don't look so good.
Ma Chao: Are those grey hairs!?
Liu Bei: I-I'm fine...um...uh...what was I going to say? Oh yes...um...next.
....
....
Huang Zhong: Um...there is no next?
Yue Ying: Wait! Look over there!
Ma Chao: Is it a bird?
Pang Tong: Is it a plane?
Guan Yu: What the hell are you guys talking about? There's nothing even up there!
Zhuge Liang: -No! It's Jiang Wei!
Yue Ying: *Turns to Zhuge Liang* Where did you come from?
Ma Chao: A blonde wig? A pink dress? Fishnet stockings?? Lipstick!? WHAT IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE IS THE MAN WEARING!?
Zhuge Liang: I just HAD to give him that outfit. He's just too sexy for his own good.
Jiang Wei: I am so fit, I am so fine, I am so sexy, I wish I were mine! (he hugs himself intimately)
Ma Chao: GOOD LORD MAN! GET HIM OFF THE STAGE!
Jiang Wei: Wait! I haven't finished! *Does the Cancan*

....*random whistle coming from a nobody at the back of the audience*

*Zhuge claps, while the rest sit in shock*
Liu Bei: Um....uh...next?
Huang Zhong: Alright you young pups! I hope you're all prepared.
*Audience is engaged*
Huang Zhong: Behold, my bow and arrow! One shoot of this baby, and even the most foolish player hits the target. *Shoots arrow through Zhuge Liang's hat*
Audience: Oooh!
Zhuge Liang: My beautiful hat!!! *cries*
Yue Ying: There there. I'll knit you another one.
Huang Zhong: It can even shoot multipe arrows. *shoots three arrows at the same times*
Pang Tong: My hat!
Wei Yan: My mask!
Guan Yu: My beaard!!
Liu Bei: Apart from making half the audience cry, that was a very good show and tell!
Huang Zhong: Thankyou my lord! *bows* But now you have to do one!
Liu Bei: W-what? me?
Huang Zhong: Of course you!
Liu Bei: Well..hmm...oh! Hold on! I'll just get it!
*Audience chatters while awaiting Liu Bei's return*
Liu Bei: I'm back! *Hiding the object behind his back* Okay, this is one of my most precious things to me. More precious than my Kingdom, my brothers and my people...put together.
Zhuge Liang: Now this..should be interesting..
Liu Bei: Behold! My favourite teddybear in the wholest widest worldest! *hugs teddy tight*
*Audience sits in complete and utter silence*
Ma Chao: I think I'm going to throw up..
Guan Yu: Brother, you have disappointed me.
Zhang Fei: .........
The oath has already been broken.
Zhao Yun: My lord...you never told me..
Wei Yan: Awww..
*Audience glares*
Liu Bei: Okay, now that I have let out my big secret, I feel so much better! *walks off*
...
.......
*Walks back on*
Liu Bei: Finally, I have one more show and tell!

*Audience is too shocked to reply*

Liu Bei: bring in the horse!
*Seven men walk on stage alongside a seemingly disorientated looking horse*
This is the horse I ride on. Now you see, this is not a real horse. Every time you see me riding a horse, it's always this one. But there are real people inside it! Look! One at the front...and one at the back! I could never ride on real horses, so I use these two people because they go nice and slow so I can't get horse sick.
*audience's mouths hang open*
I'll tell you a little secret too. I don't get off the horse by myself. I get seven men to assist me to get down, even when I'm just a centimetre away from the floor!
*Audience's mouths hang even more open*
Have none of you ever noticed!? Look! There's a split in the middle of the horse so the two people can get inside! I may seem useless and timid on the battlefield, but that's only because my horse is made of felt, and that it can't go very fast. Come to think of it, I can run ten times faster without the horse. Thankyou my men! You have helped me realize something in this show and tell! I Now I understand why no one else in this Kingdom uses felt horses except me! Finally I can be myself! *walks off*
.......
Liu Bei: Next!

Audience:...........................................................
Guan Ping: *Avoiding passing Liu Bei, walks on the stage*
Guan Ping: This is the headband that was given to me by my father. I've worn it ever since he's given it to me, and have never taken it off. I was touched by Zhuge Liang's show and tell, and will now follow his words as a prayer. Zhuge Liang....wherever you are....I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to be my father's son, and my father's father's son's son. Thankyou for the bread we eat and the wine we drink.Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, amen.
Zhuge Liang: *sniff* Beautiful..
Liu Bei: Guan Ping...thankyou for saving this entire show and tell. Your words were very touching!
Guan Ping: *bow* Any time, my lord! *Sits back next to Zhuge Liang*
Liu Bei: Alright!! Now last, but not least. The wonderful...The lovely...Yue Ying!
*Applaud*
Yue Ying: Alright! *Pulls something from behind the curtains*
*Audience tries to peep*
Yue Ying: behold, the JUGGERNAUGHT! This baby breathes out fire, and can scare real tigers in the amazon! It took me a while to design and even longer to build, but look at it now!
Audience: Oooh
Huang Zhong: Now I'd like to be on one of those!
Liu Bei: Excellent Yue Ying! Keep going! This talent show might just have a happy ending.
Yue Ying: I'll demonstrate it's fire attack! *jumps inside*
Liu Bei: YUE YING! NO!
*Juggernaught breathes fire*
*entire building gets engulfed in flames*
(While on fire) Zhuge Liang: An amazing invention Yue Ying. This machine will surely be known throughout History.

Meanwhile..
Peasant: The entire Shu Kingdom has been engulfed in flames.
Cao Cao: WHAT!?...hahahahahahahah! Who could have done such a thing!?
Peasant: The last person you'd expect, Yue Ying.
Cao Cao: And how do you know this?
Peasant: Umm...oh yeah, first of all, can I join ur army?

Cao Cao:.... You're from Shu, aren't you!?
Peasant: Maybe..

Meanwhile..

Peasant: Lord Sun Quan, the entire Shu Kingdom has been engulfed in flames. Rumor has it that a juggernaut was involved in the destruction.
Sun Jian: What the...how could this be!?
Lu Xun: WHAT!? *sticks his twin sabers to the peasant's neck* Do you know how many times I have attempted to burn down that Kingdom!?
Peasant: Uh *gulp*...no..
Lu Xun: One too many times..
Sun Jian: Well that's brilliant!
Now lets go and detroy Wei.


By Molly!~
Edited by Ghost Of Da Qiao, Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:26 pm.
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Haru
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不愉快です
[ *  *  *  * ]
Nasser
Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:24 pm
Yachi
Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:23 pm
:o :o :o :o
*points at L_D then disappears*
you so mean :sad: gimme ice cream!!!

Meanie Pervy-chan~
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French Overlord
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Emperor's Retainer
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
*give yachi butterscotch ice cream*
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Claus
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old hag
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
My Uncle is on cash cab tonight :o
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Haru
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不愉快です
[ *  *  *  * ]
THE_FRENCH_GUY
Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:27 pm
*give yachi butterscotch ice cream*
yaay thanks :heart: *huggles*
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French Overlord
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Emperor's Retainer
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Miyazaki
Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:28 pm
My Uncle is on cash cab tonight :o
i hope he is/was good whit trivia


so how much did he won?
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Haru
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不愉快です
[ *  *  *  * ]
*searches for something to eat*
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Nocon
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SHINee lives on.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
RAN. DOM. NESS.

That is all.
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French Overlord
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Emperor's Retainer
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
im making myself some po-go : D
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