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| RAWR I'M A BEAR (1555 Scenario, Ryuzoji Clan AAR); After-Action Report | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 4 2009, 07:06 AM (224 Views) | |
| Seraphil | Oct 4 2009, 07:06 AM Post #1 |
稲が成敗いたします！
  ![]](http://209.85.122.85/static/1/pip_r.png)
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Takanobu Ryuzoji sat up in bed one day. He put aside his stuffed bear and clapped his meaty hands together. "I'm going to conquer Japan!" His two younger brothers, Nobuchika and Naganobu, both lurched to sitting position on opposite sides of Takanobu and thrust their fists into the air. "We're gonna conquer Japan!" The sliding door suddenly was thrown open, and the young Naoshige Nabeshima leaned in and stabbed his finger in Takanobu's direction. "You're gonna conquer Japan!" And thus it was decided. Now, Takanobu was known as the Bear of Hizen because he was big and fuzzy like a bear. People didn't call him because he was scary or anything. Dear no, the children would run up and cuddle him when he walked in the streets of Hizen. So, he'd have to do something scary and stuff to make people fear him and respect him. Thus, he ordered his men to establish new barracks in Hizen to build up his army. Unlike a mere bear, he wasn't dumb either. He knew that food was a problem in his land, so he had multiple farms built, razing the local atelier for more farming land because, well, uh... who needed them silly academies? Bear want fish, not book! However, despite his plans to DEVOUR his neighbor daimyo, Takanobu was met with an unexpected crisis. "OHGODM'LORDTHEOTOMOANDASOAREATTACKINGUS", shrieked the newest recruit, one Tanekane Shigyo, who for some reason was clad in merely a fundoshi. Takanobu punched him in the face. "Settle down and get some clothes on! Naoshige, Nobukatsu! Get our defenses ready!" The approaching army was in three parts: two Otomo, one Aso. The Otomo squads were led by Akitsura Hetsugi and Yoshishige Otomo himself, respectively. Koretoyo Aso led the Aso group. "This'a be an easy'a win!" said Masanao Kinosita. And surely it was. While Tomokane Hyakutake led infantry out to attack directly, Takanobu, Nobukatsu and Naoshige attacked from the castle walls with the Ryuzoji's full line-up of 8000 kickass riflemen. Everyone concentrated on Hetsugi, since they remember from a past life(see: Nobunaga's Ambition: Rise to Power) how freaking scary that guy is. Once Hetsugi was done, Naoshige and Tomokane swapped around, with Naoshige leading a cavalry unit to chase down the already fleeing Aso squad. Meanwhile, Takanobu kept taking potshots at Otomo himself. Naoshige cursed as the sole bow turret, having done nothing helpful previously, killstealed the Aso wimps. Turning around, he blocked Otomo from escaping, and the Ryuzoji swiftly wiped him out. "RAWR I'M A ****ING BEAR!" yelled Takanobu in a victory cry. Naoshige came back to the castle, dragging someone in Otomo clan colors behind his horse. "Dude! I caught a bald man!" Indeed, Naoshige had captured a bald man. A stupid bald man from Kyushu named YOSHISHIGE OTOMO. Before Yoshishige had a chance to speak one word, Takanobu shot him in the face, killing him on the spot. "I don't like yer overratedness!" And with that, the Otomo came to be led by a 2 year old toddler girl. Naoshige got Yoshishige's items as a reward. "Yay!" And with that, this chapter of RAWR I'M A BEAR comes to an end. Continued, in the future! |
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| Cerebral Assassin | Oct 4 2009, 09:22 AM Post #2 |
From now on, I will lead the Uesugi and my name will be Kenshin!
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You capture Sorin? That's great! Do you build temples or colonies?
Edited by Cerebral Assassin, Oct 4 2009, 09:23 AM.
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 CA's KW Family & Sengoku Jidai Cast | |
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| Nasser | Oct 4 2009, 04:36 PM Post #3 |
In a scale from one to ten, I'm The Awesome
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LOL that was hilarious Seraphil, keep it up I'll be sure to read em chapters as you update this 
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| OdaKazuma | Oct 4 2009, 10:04 PM Post #4 |
The Man Who Survived The Chaos
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Hahahaha! I almost thought It was a real event! Hilarious! Seraphil continue this way and I'll recruit you as a Story Writer for Immortal Legends!!! |
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"If you desire to live, then live! But first all you need is to survive!" Working on: IMMORTAL LEGENDS - A Hack'n Slash game based in the sengoku period of Japan! Up to 72 Characters! | |
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| Cerebral Assassin | Oct 5 2009, 04:47 PM Post #5 |
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From now on, I will lead the Uesugi and my name will be Kenshin!
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OdaKazuma, if you wanna make a game, write it yourself (maybe I'll help you if it pays). I might be doing an AAR myself, but I'm currently playing the Oda, and that's not something to be proud of. |
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CA's KW Family & Sengoku Jidai Cast | |
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| Xuan Zhongda | Oct 6 2009, 12:03 AM Post #6 |
What is mellow without SM? Who knows.....
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I lol'ed so many times when reading this. Keep it up, it so funny. |
 Ike for junior mod! LULU LIVES!!!!!O_o I beg you to click the mellow face >_> and join while your at it  DO NOT CLICK SPOILER!!!! Spoiler: click to toggle | |
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| necrosis | Oct 6 2009, 09:16 AM Post #7 |
Watching and waiting...
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I approve of every single thing that happened, espixially to the Otomo, hahahaaa. I do wonder what the bear will do next. |
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Death should be painless, shouldn't it!? EX-Tentacle Monster DOUBLE ZETA. Because all the lolis love me. "Tentacle Grape is everything I love about hentai, but with a sweet grapey taste that makes it seem like everything's going to be okay." - Yuri Lowenthal, beloved anime voice-actor http://www.tentaclegrape.com Koei Warriors Conquerors is a failure. | |
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| OdaKazuma | Oct 6 2009, 05:13 PM Post #8 |
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The Man Who Survived The Chaos
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Well... When the game come out, I will pay everyone who given help. |
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"If you desire to live, then live! But first all you need is to survive!" Working on: IMMORTAL LEGENDS - A Hack'n Slash game based in the sengoku period of Japan! Up to 72 Characters! | |
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| Seraphil | Oct 6 2009, 10:53 PM Post #9 |
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稲が成敗いたします！
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The FAIL attack on Muranaka Castle by the Otomo and Aso left Tachibanayama Castle and Kumamoto Castle's defenses very weak. Takanobu gleefully built up his army to around 30,000 strong to overrun the Aso's mere 6,000 defenders. He sent his brother Naganobu to the Sagara to arrange an alliance with Naganobu as a hostage(read: toy for the big boys.) "Hmm, Naganobu's my uglier brother though, who'd want him?" thought Takanobu as he put some fish on the grill. The question was best left unanswered. After lunch, Takanobu looked over his vicious troops and nodded. "Masanao! You guard Muranaka while I go CRUSH SOME FOOLS." Masanao stroked the tip of his mustache as he said "You can leave'a this'a to me!" Takanobu and Naoshige marched with 23,000 troops in total, and stormed Kumamoto. Nobuchika asked the Sagara for assistance, and Haruhiro agreed to send help, then took two steps and keeled over and died, leaving the young ALLY OF JUSTICE Yoshihi to lead the Sagara. The combined Ryuzoji and Sagara armies came up to the castle, only to be met with 11,000 troops rather than 6,000. "WTF! U CHEET!" whined Takanobu, until Naoshige pointed out the Aso would have recruited troops too. Regardless, the Sagara fought the Aso well while Takanobu and his men ate more grilled fishies, watching the battle. Only when the Sagara were losing and getting ready to retreat did Takanobu spit out a fishbone and yell "KILL AND PILLAGE!" leading the Ryuzoji to attack the now weakened Aso. Back in Muranaka, Masanao and Masamitsu were playing tiddly-winks when the still mostly naked Tanekane ran screaming through the castle about an enemy attack from the Arima to the west. "The Arima? Who are'a they?" "Some chumps from Nagasaki." "Ooh, they'a make'a good champon." Despite the Arima army numbering at 18,000, the Muranaka defenders took their time to finish their games, get dressed and armed, and leisurely deployed MASS ARCHERS to turn away the Arima attack. The Arima in turn were pissed at this complete lack of concern the Ryuzoji had for their attack: they, they didn't suck! No way! Even with their highest Lead guy being 80+ years old and needing a walker! Even with their daimyo having worse stats than Otomo Yoshimune and Imagawa Ujizane! After Kumamoto fell, Takanobu left Naoshige in charge as he rushed back to shove his musket up the Arima's collective ass. They couldn't sit down for four days after Takanobu and Masanobu beat them off. Takanobu went back to Kumamoto to oversee the merging of the Aso men into his army. He got the Aso priest family, and the awesome old guy Kai Soun. "Kumamoto. Kumamoto. KUMAmoto. I LIKE IT. From now on, KUMAmoto Castle is my home base!" declared Takanobu. Meanwhile, a poor little Otomo girl was getting heavily ravaged by the encroaching Mouri army, who had already wiped out the Ouchi. Tachibanayama Castle fell to the Mouri as well, putting a REAL enemy on Takanobu's doorstep... To be continued! |
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| scholar | Oct 17 2009, 05:55 AM Post #10 |
General
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10 days later... what happened? |
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The Master Plan My Fan Music awards video! | |
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