Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Direct Connect: scod.game-server.cc
NWN List
Announcements
Welcome to the forums of Sigil: City of Doors. | New update 5/28/18 - read the update notes here!
Welcome to Sigil: City of Doors. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Multi-Quote Post on Multi-Quote Post off
Add Reply
Take A Deep Breath; A topic about criticism and taking it.
Topic Started: Feb 28 2017, 11:33 AM (296 Views)
Mr_Otyugh
Member Avatar

Dungeon Master
I can't help but to notice how we seem to go from one argument to another at a rather fast pace. Now I'm nothing but a huge fan of drama! But sadly I know not everyone can stomach such venue of non-stop intrigue quite as well as I, that and I'm kind of tired of becoming so large number of peoples "fix-it-all" button all the time. So I figured that I'd again make a post trying to urge for unity, this time on the side of how to post and take criticism, because that seems to have been awfully at fault lately.

Posted Image

First of all, lets get one point straight: People aren't obligated to agree or like the changes made. And it is perfectly okay to desire a change. And mistakes are a genuine possibility, although no one is going to be a big fan of hearing such being of their own doing, no you aren't an exception either.

Differing opinions are infact healthy for a community, it'll bring out new perspectives and can improve features in unforeseen manner. However when things become a shouting match, they start to work to everyones disfavor. Something I think everyone need to realise about public discussions is that the general dynamics change. Where arguing to win works in small crowds, arguing to win in public won't achieve the goal, it'll only divide people and get them to talk in their own groups that'll reinforce their opinions. That's not an end goal anyone genuinely wants.

To expand on that thought: In private the more people know you, the better they can put a tone into your words, but when you are dealing with public and large number of people who may or may not be aware of your usual demeanor and thus they will be left to put a tone into your posts with the only thing they have to go by, that is your posts. That's something that doesn't happen with friends, you the meaning of "Go kill yourself :P" changes a lot in meaning if you say it as a friend vs if a stranger just says it to you out of blue. Even if the tone it is said in remains the same. So yes, try to remain mindful of how you present yourself to the strangers.

I tend to be sent a lot of reports of bugs, features or issues and tend to make the case as reasonably as possible when I deem so important. But I can't help but to feel it's becoming unsustainable for me to be a mouth piece for so many, and that's the reason I'm making this post. I do need people to be able to sort out their own issues as well, and that means being reasonable, on both sides of the argument. Here's a few things that are useful:

Elaboration there's few things that can't be solved by just elaborating properly on your meaning and not assuming that everyone knows. Truth is, not everyone are in your friendslist, so they won't be already familiar with the abstract version you might be inclined to give in order to save time. More likely is that you're going to need to still elaborate or be misinterpreted so you won't be saving time anyway.

Try not to jump to conclusions People still do suck at elaboration more often than not, so try not to jump to conclusions, knowing that's the case. People in the opposition probably are not horrid people, even though may not share the same preferences.

Don't trivialize others concerns the moment you do, you've lost their respect. And it's only going to be more difficult to solve the problem without external interpreter/mediator.

Individualize there's definitely a human nature in categorising people. "That guy is with us, that one doesn't agree with us completely so they must be with them", that doesn't help anyone. Try to assume less group-mentality and think for yourself.

Abandon Fruitless Principles if you're doing something for no reason other than principles... lets just say that's probably not helping. If it doesn't affect to you negatively, then you don't need to be aggressively against it. There's nothing wrong with things happening that don't affect you, there are other people also.

Take a deep breath and a pause especially if you find yourself getting frustrated. As much as your senses are telling you to further engage and defend your views, you're probably doing yourself a disfavor by gradually bypassing your inhibitions with adrenaline driven vigor.

The fact remains: we all want the same thing, our methods may differ in how we wish to achieve it, but the end goal is more or less the same. And we will still need to share the same place for it at the end of the day.
Time Zones - Alignments - Name Generator
NWN 2 Mechanics - PnP Mechanics - Dice Roller
Character Builder - 2nd edition Monster Database - Monster Finder
In-case of problems: Click Here
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mabus
Member Avatar
Squishy
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Your post sucked!!

lol j/k :lol:

Excellent post. A lot of people everywhere could do right by your advice.

:clap: :thumbs: :beer:
(Account Name: Lazzdar)
"In the end all things betray you. Honor. Ideals. Heroism. Allies. Comrades. Lovers. Your eyes. Your limbs. Your heart. And in the end, you betray yourself. And that is the greatest betrayal of all."

~Lament of the Cambion Zaxarus, hero of the Blood War.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Whitefly
Member Avatar
;)
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Thing is, 60% of the time I'm right every time, so you may as well just shut up and listen to everything I say. I don't like criticism anyway, not even the constructive kind, unless I'm the one giving the criticism in which case that's fine.

By the way, yes this was a joke :P Mostly. I mean I am pretty awesome, let's face it.
Moxie Anafara Angas, aka Ixsaea; delightful Xaositectiefling
Kismet Saljahasa; "really friendly" air elemental sort
Ravvi Beaconberry; adorable hin adventuress
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
CheeseWedge
Member Avatar
CheesePencils
[ *  *  *  * ]
Oh yeah? Well. I'm right 95% of the time.

The other 5% I'll admit to it. Eventually. After throwing some things.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ewe
No Avatar

Tester
Yea I think Mr O is right on the elaboration. Like, for one, I still don't know why people want us out of the OOC room. Doesn't feel like a good answer was ever fully elaborated to where we could understand the need.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mr_Otyugh
Member Avatar

Dungeon Master
Ewe, wrong thread.http://z13.invisionfree.com/nwn2planescape...pic=16398&st=60 that is the topic about OOC room. This one is not. And this one also isn't about trying to start arguing, which you seem to be inclined to.
Time Zones - Alignments - Name Generator
NWN 2 Mechanics - PnP Mechanics - Dice Roller
Character Builder - 2nd edition Monster Database - Monster Finder
In-case of problems: Click Here
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ewe
No Avatar

Tester
If I may elaborate, I'm not here to start arguments. I just want what is best for everyone and for the community to get along. It makes me feel bad when you claim that I am just an instigator.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mr_Otyugh
Member Avatar

Dungeon Master
You may wish to work on the presentation of wanting the best for everyone. Because judging on many posts you've been speaking about the particular topic, you haven't exactly been trying to work for unity, best for everyone or community to get along, it has been rather riddled with, ironically, discord.

Now I'm not going to take this further in public, but I'm also inclined to display that I'm willing to make a stand for my beliefs.
Time Zones - Alignments - Name Generator
NWN 2 Mechanics - PnP Mechanics - Dice Roller
Character Builder - 2nd edition Monster Database - Monster Finder
In-case of problems: Click Here
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Whitefly
Member Avatar
;)
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Are my posts riddled with discord, Otyugh? :D
Moxie Anafara Angas, aka Ixsaea; delightful Xaositectiefling
Kismet Saljahasa; "really friendly" air elemental sort
Ravvi Beaconberry; adorable hin adventuress
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mabus
Member Avatar
Squishy
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Whitefly,Feb 28 2017
06:26 PM
Are my posts riddled with discord, Otyugh? :D

No, he said "this cord".

Your posts are riddled with this cord......

Posted Image
(Account Name: Lazzdar)
"In the end all things betray you. Honor. Ideals. Heroism. Allies. Comrades. Lovers. Your eyes. Your limbs. Your heart. And in the end, you betray yourself. And that is the greatest betrayal of all."

~Lament of the Cambion Zaxarus, hero of the Blood War.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
« Previous Topic · General Discussion · Next Topic »
Add Reply