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Topic Started: Oct 10 2016, 10:46 AM (41 Views)
Captain Howdy
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[ *  *  * ]
Oh, it's so nice to see you all inside my dreamy little world
And it's so nice to be with all you lovely little boys and girls
Make yourselves comfortable, my place is so divine
Don't you think I'm wonderful? Say yes! You're on my time

Stay away
From Captain Howdy
Stay away
From Captain Howdy

-- From "Captain Howdy" by Twisted Sister


Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in. -- Michael Corleone (The Godfather III)


The scene slowly fades in from black, as "Captain Howdy" by Twisted Sister begins to play. We find ourselves looking on at...well, it's hard to tell actually. It's dark, and the inky night obscures any landmarks or easily discernible items or structures. We get the feeling that we might actually be outside, as a mist seems to be creeping toward the camera, shown only by the light atop the device. In just a few moments, it becomes heavy and thick, adding to our lack of perspective, our disorientation. The music stops, as if someone had disconnected the device that was playing it, and all goes silent, save the breathing of the cameraman. For several long moments, the person giving us our view, turns from side to side, but nothing can be seen through the fog. His breathing gets faster, more shallow, as he suddenly realizes that he has no idea which way is safe, and which will lead him to ruin. Just as panic starts to set in, and we realize that he might bolt at any time, two red points appear in the fog, the mist diffusing the light coming from them. The cameraman freezes, his breath catching audibly, as those points come closer, closer, until the outline of a man is seen in the mist. A chuckle, a gasp, and then, a man steps forward, becoming visible just as those red lights wink out, replaced by the deep blue eyes of a man we've seen before.

This man wears a lime green tuxedo, a white ruffled shirt, and carries a steel walking stick, which he twirls like a baton. His curly hair sits atop his head, and a smile adorns his face. His smile, however, holds no warmth, no friendship. No, it is the dead-eyed smile of a shark, a smile that promises nothing but pain and suffering. The camera shudders, as the operator realizes that he is possibly in more danger now than he was just moments ago. However, the green-suited man raises a hand slowly, and pats at the air in a placating gesture, as if to say "Calm down, you're fine". The sound of a deep gulp is heard but the camera steadies, and the man before us, the man known as Captain Howdy, begins to speak.


CAPTAIN HOWDY: Redemption...one definition is "The act of saving people from sin and evil". If that is the case, then I'm not sure why they allowed me through the door in the first place. I neither want, nor need, redemption of any sort. Everything I have done, every person I have done it to, I did deliberately, with malice aforethought, and with a smile on my face. I have never asked for forgiveness. I have never looked for redemption in the past. Why would I start now? No, I think I have been called here, not to receive redemption, but to be the one who punishes all those who think they deserve it.

I see that there are old friends and rivals here. I also see that there is at least one who should fear me far more than he does, after what I have done to his family in the past. We'll get to that at some point in the future, I'm sure. There are also plenty of new faces, belonging to some who know not of me at all. They'll learn, all of them. They'll understand why my name, my current name in any event, is spoken in reverence and in fear in all the many corners and dark places of the world. But, where are my manners? I have neglected to introduce myself.

Hello, Redemption. My name, is Captain Howdy. Pleased to meet you. For some, this is not our first, or even second, shared space. For others, you are hearing from me for the first time. Don't worry, only very few will be treated any differently. I am an equal opportunity destroyer, and soon to be the Most Dangerous Man in Redemption Wrestling. I don't call myself that, no matter what I do to whom. No, that name is bequeathed upon me by the ones who pay for me to do what I enjoy most, which is to rip the very souls from my victims, and tear it to shreds before their very eyes. I know no mercy, no remorse. I care not if you have family, if something I do might end your career, or even cause you to be crippled for the remainder of your life. No, all I want are your screams of agony, and to feel your bones break, and your bodies give up under my assault. All of you shall learn the barriers which you cannot get beyond, the limits that you cannot pass, and you will learn it at my hands. This vessel will show you just how weak you are, not because you cannot fight, cannot resist, but simply because it will do you no good. But, I have spent enough time lowering myself to speak with you. I will allow my host to address you now. Heed his words, because he speaks for me, and my name...is Legion.

The Captain's eyes roll back as those of us who have followed his career have seen many times in the past. He shudders a few times, arms seemingly locked at his sides. Then, he calms, and opens his eyes, eyes that are now a deep brown. His stance changes, no longer stiff and nearly military. Now, he stands there confidently, a bit of a twinkle in his eye.

Well hello, Boys and Girls!!! So good to see you all again. I know, I know. He can be a bit stuffy and melodramatic, can't he? Well, he's been cooped up for a couple years now, so you can imagine his happiness at being allowed out. It seems that some things have been set into motion around here. Red Dragon is visiting a place we both have a past with. My good friend George has paid a visit to another good friend, Jason Sandman. A few of those I've had issues with are here, and there are a whole lot of new people that I get to play with. Sounds like we're going to have fun times.

And then, just like happens so often, I get saddled with the young blood, the pretty boy. You know, the one who has to sit there and tell you how good he looks, and wants us to believe that the little hottie next to him has her lips on something other than his wallet. It's so much fun to see these overgrown egos when you pop a hole in them, and watch them deflate. I am, of course, talking about my first opponent here in the renewal of Redemption, Alister Valca.

You know, I generally hate it when someone fails to do any background checking on me before we meet for the first time. Yes, I am a Captain, but not of some ship or boat. No, no, though I can understand the confusion. If you want a little more insight, I suggest watching the Exorcist, the original that is, and paying close attention to the early part of the movie. That way, you'll know exactly who and what you are dealing with, Mister Valca. Then, I suggest you do a little hunting on Youtube, maybe even try to find some of my matches from years gone by. I know you're just barely out of diapers...unless your girlfriend is into that sort of thing...but the arrogance you are showing is appalling, even by the standards of today's know-it-all youth.

"Youth is a disease from which we all recover". Another wonderful quote, which, you might just be lucky enough to experience. That youth of yours has led you to say some brash things, to use some colorful language in your attempts to convince yourself that you can defeat me. Ooooh....you swore at me. You used cuss-words!!! I'm SO afraid. Really? I'm sorry, but all that shows me is that you have no imagination, and barely enough brains in your skull to make those muscles of yours move. I have no fear of you, Alister, and more importantly, I have no care about you. I don't care if you walk out of our match, or are carried out. I don't care if your little girlfriend has to spoon-feed you for the rest of your natural life. You think you can beat me in this match?

I KNOW I can beat you.

I've won Championships in each and every single place that I've ever gone, save here. Then again, I wasn't here for very long the first time around. I plan to fix that little issue this time. Every journey begins with a single step, or in your case, stepping stone. Because that, my little friend, is what I am going to use you as. I am going to step on and past you, on my way to far bigger and better things. Oh, you're going to fight me. They always do. You're going to go out there and put on a great show, and try so very hard to defeat me. However, in the end, your fate will be much the same as hundreds of others over the years. You will be lying on the mat, begging, pleading, for your limbs to follow your commands. You'll get more and more desperate, as you realize it isn't happening. That your body is too broken, too damaged, to respond. I have been away for far, far too long, and you just happen to be the poor idiot that they threw to me, to get my blood up. Make no mistake, Alister, you're nothing more than a sacrificial lamb in this match. You're the fatted calf that brings out the predator, and you will quickly realize that this predator likes to devour its food whole.

You're young, so very young, Alister. You have your whole life before you, or at least you did. You still could. Drop out of this match, leave it behind you. Take your lady, and get as far away as you can. I won't hunt you down, I promise. I have other things to occupy myself with . If you step into that ring with me, however, then you have presented yourself as my first target, and the example to be made to the rest of the roster. I'm a bit rusty, so I may have to try a few things on you more than once, just to get the kinks out. I hope that's not a problem.

In some places I've been, the company would offer a rider on your health insurance when you had to face me. They called it the "Captain Howdy Clause". You might want to see if Redemption will do that for you, Alister. After all, it doesn't look like your girlfriend is making enough to get you out of Grandma's house. Maybe she should start working a different corner. You know, something closer to the middle of the city. Hell, maybe you should work the one across the street from her. After all, such a pretty face should not go unnoticed. And, you'd be safer than being in my way. Most of your clients wouldn't be out to ruin your looks like I am going to do. But, I doubt you'll do that. There seems to be an inverse relationship between looks and brains...that means opposite. You know, the better looking you are, the dumber you tend to be? There you go, I see you're understanding the concept now. That's good, because I can only lower myself so far to try and explain it to you.

Alister, understand me. I don't hate you. I don't even care about you. You were placed in my path by someone who obviously doesn't value you in the least. Those in charge of this place? They know very well what I am all about. They know that I am the one who decides how this game is played. They have seen me make the rules, and break them as I see fit. They have seen me break my toys over, and over, and over again. And, most importantly, they know what happens when I decide that, for you...

PLAYTIME'S OVER!!!!

You'll find out for yourself, very, very soon.

HHHAAAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!!!

"Captain Howdy" starts to play once more, as the man himself continues to laugh maniacally. The cameraman backs up slowly, carefully, trying not to draw attention to himself. It doesn't work, because after just a few steps, the Captain's head snaps forward, and he actually snarls. Then, he smiles, nods, and takes a step back into the mist. As he does, the dull, red glow appears in his eyes again, intensifying as he backs away, until it too is swallowed by the mist, and the scene slowly fades to black.

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