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The Interview Seassions Part One; Good Ole John Doe
Topic Started: Oct 28 2016, 03:26 PM (43 Views)
Jimmy
Advanced Member
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John Doe isn't very smart. Some people would say he's down right ignorant. That could be the truth, but another truth is John Doe never had a chance. What would you expect of someone who has no formal education to speak of.


Lights and cameras were lit up all around John Doe. He grinned like a child in a candy store while the make up artists did the final touches on his forehead while the stylist attempted to comb out his mane.

John Doe: Guys don't wear no make up, why ya doin' this?

The fat pudgy Larry Slate spoke up while sweat ran down his beach ball shaped head. He was always sweating. Fat people problems.

Larry Slate: It's to make you look pretty for the camera. Everyone does it in Hollywood.

John Doe: Ya mean I don't look pertty? I mean I do still have my teeth, and dey are my own.

John Doe smiles showing his teeth.

Larry Slate: John, most people have their own teeth in their 30s.

John Doe: It's called a joke boss, lighten up.

A raven haired women with high heel stilletos click clacking on the ground walks into the room. She curls her nose but tries to hide her disgust as she shakes her head.

Penny Wilson: I'm Penny Wilson, and I'll be your interviewer for this. Before we get started, John, is there any subject that is off limits?

John Doe: Well...I mean not really.

Penny Wilson: Are you sure? We had you sign a release, so once something goes on tape we're free to use it as we see fit.

John Doe: Ya mean that paper I signed? The one with all those words on it I didn't understand.

Penny Wilson: Yeah, that.

John Doe: I signed it I did. Boss said I had ta. So I'll answer all yer questions. I mean, this is good for my first real job, so I kinda hafta ya know.

Penny Wilson: Good. I think we're ready then. Cameras on?

A crewman lets her know it is, so they begin.

Penny Wilson: So John Doe, we're here for an interview about your life because from what I've been told you've lived a pretty interesting one. So let's start from the beginning.

John Doe: Well, I'll start by tellin' ya my name isn't John Doe. It's an alias ya see, like in the TV shows I used to watch when I'd sneak into the Best Buy.

Penny Wilson: Then what is your name?

John Doe: See, I don't really know. I guess I can start yer story you want there.

Penny Wilson: Please do.

John Doe: When I was just a lil guy, like, ya know, a baby, my mom and dad just left me.

Penny Wilson: Left you.

John Doe: Yea, they left me.

Penny Wilson: How old were you?

John Doe: No one knows. I wasn't even able to crawl yet ya see. So that'd make me like pretty much a brand new baby. But they left me in a dumpster in some alley in Atlanta, right behind the Hong Kong Grill. Ya see, that Hong Kong Grill thing probably saved my life.

Penny Wilson: Why's that?

John Doe: Ya know how much food an all you can eat place throws away? Buffet is the best for dumpster diving, and it was dumpster divers that found me. But, I mean, they didn't know my name. They took me back to the place they was livin'. It was an old factory where a whole town of homeless was livin'. It was like one of the places you see on Discovery Channel, ya know, a commune. Only they's all homeless. When they got me back no one could settle on a name. So they finally decided to call me John Doe since that's like a name that covers everyone ya know. I mean, it's not too bad of a name.

-To Be Continued-

So I's gets to make my debut as a professional wrestler. After all dem years on the streets and all dem years hitchin' rides or sneakin' on trains to travel to Charlotte, New York, Chicago, LA...all just ta fight are finally payin' off because guess what? You're ol' boy John Doe has a job!! I'm a gettin' paid. After my manager Larry Slate takes his cut I might even be able ta afford ta get myself one of dem dere Winnebago's with a color television!! Then I can watch all dem them episodes of Dog The Bounty Hunter I can handle.

First on da plate of your ole pal John Doe at his new job is Landon Dalmon. I's getting Richie Rich in the first match. I know Richie Rich's type, I do. I dig through yer garbage and I eat yerr scraps. That means I sees hows ya live your life and I know the secrets of da rich and the famous. I's also know that ya'll is typically weak and catered to.

John Doe has fought for himself, I have. I hads to fight tooth and nail my whole life to even get a scrap of food to eat while Richie Rich has thrown away feasts. I mean that both as literal and metaphor.

See, John Doe knows those two dollar words. I learned it on TV.

Good ole John Doe don't know much about Richie Rich Landon Dalmon, but I knows his type. I see his type at the bum fights, throwin' der money around like it don't matter and treating my kind like mean ole dogs who are just there so they can go slummin' it and make some money. Dey love the thrill of the violence of a fight but when that violence becomes real den reality becomes real. For the Richie Richs of da world, dey don't like reality.

So John Doe's guess is dat dis Richie Rich is just playin' fighter. What happens when dat fight becomes real? What happens when I smack ya in the mouth and that pretty smile isn't so pretty anymore? Richie Rich fights because he wanna play wrestler. John Doe fight cause I gots no other way to survive.

I mean, that's what I is, I is a fighter. I fight for my life dat day my mom left me in da dumpster. I fight ta find a warm place ta sleep and I fight ta find a scrap of meat for my belly. I fight fer money. Fight is what John Doe do.

When ya walk a block in my ragged ole' shoes, then maybe ya understand me Richie Rich Landon Dalmon. Cause ya can't understand me now. Lets me try to explain it to ya.

Dis is life or death for me. I only was dealt two chips in this life and I put em all on the table here, I did. Good ole' John Doe can't afford to lose dem dere two chips and will do anything to keep 'em. I'm not a plannin' to lose 'em to someone who can just cash in fer more of dem dere chips.

So see ya at Salvation, Richie Rich. I'll be there waitin' fer a fight.

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