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KAIJU FAMILY VALUES #3; MAY17TH, 2018
Topic Started: May 18 2018, 04:12 AM (204 Views)
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-STANTON ENTERPRISES PRESENTS-
-KAIJU FAMILY VALUES #3-
“NET NEUTRALITY LIVES!”
MAY 17TH, 2018 FROM THE GOOD SHIP MILES


The show opens with an announcement from Ricky Stanton. Connor MacNamara has been given a leave of absence and will return at some point with a SECRET project. The proposed tag match has been changed to a singles match between Kalinda Kriegsdottir and Anna Mathews. The winner of this match will be given a shot at the loser’s championship.

We then cut to ringside. Two championship belts are on display. The Kaiju Lightweight Championship and the Stanton Enterprises Lightweight Championship. We are told by Ricky that he will crown these champions tonight. With that out of the way we cut to the ring.

MECHA-Kalinda and Sammy 3.0(C) vs Lord Barbarian and Ape Warrior
KAIJU TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS


0:00 MECHA-Kalinda and Sammy arrive to Killer Queen, as usual. Blue dresses are all the rage, as seen in their entrance. MECHA-Kalinda blows blue fire into the air. Somewhere Brian Storm is begging them not to burn down his boat.

2:00 Lord Barbarian and Ape Warrior arrive to the boos of the crowd. Lord Barbarian is coming for revenge. Those who watching KFV2 know he was mugged by MECHA-Kalinda and Sammy 3.0 before he could challenge Kalinda for the Kaiju Heavyweight Championship. Ape Warrior is just a giant ape in barbarian armor. Who knows where he came from.

4:00 Brian Storm feels a sting in his heart. MECHA-Kalinda shoots a fireball at Ape Warrior. Ape Warrior abandons ship to put the fire out. Lord Barbarian is on his own.

5:00 Lord Barbarian puts up a fight against Sammy and MK. Sammy gets tossed outside of the ring. MK takes Lord Barbarian down with a running splash. There’s a few minutes of kaiju brawling action before Sammy returns, in a red dress. I guess she used the time to change dresses?

7:00 By this point it’s a handicapped match. Sammy opens her helmet and “spits” oil onto Lord Barbarian. Sammy goes for a brain buster. While Lord Barbarian is in the air, MK shoots a fireball at Lord Barbarian.

9:00 FLAMING BRAIN BUSTAH!!!

12:00 Kaiju nurses arrive to take away the losers as Sammy and MECHA-Kalinda celebrate. Sammy goes full on Emmy win and names off a list of people to thank. Kalinda, Cactus Jack Bronson, Ricky Stanton, Santa Clause, Sammy 2.0, and Batman are all on the list.

Winners: MECHA-Kalinda and Sammy 3.0(C)

Kodoku vs Wrecks Jr.
KAIJU LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP


0:00 The match is announced as Kaiju Lightweight Championship match between two newcomers.

1:00 Wrecks Jr. arrives first to the Jurassic Park Theme. He’s a lizard man wearing boxing gloves and gold boxing shorts.

2:30 The fans erupt as blue smoke fills the arena. Kodoku arrives from the smoke and gives a pose similar to what one might see from a Japanese magical girl anime. She’s quick to the ring.

4:00 Kodoku tries to shake Wrecks Jr’s hand. Wrecks bites Kodoku’s hand. Kodoku returns the favor with a long kicking combo, ending with a firm kick between the legs. Wrecks goes down in a heap. Kodoku runs, hits the ropes, bounces back, and hits a somersault splash on Wrecks.

7:00 Wrecks is up. He’s not happy. Kodoku tries another kicking combo, but Wrecks is ready. He blocks and goes for a punching combo. He hits blow after blow, sending Kodoku tumbling into the ropes.

10:00 Kodoku has enough presence of mind to bounce back and slide under Wrecks. He turns and gets kicked in the left knee. On one knee, he can only watch in horror as Kodoku hits a Shining DDT upon him. Kodoku easily takes the victory.

Winner: Kodoku(c)

Lisa Seldon vs Digital Danny James
STANTON LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP


0:00 This match is announced as being for the Stanton Lightweight Championship!

0:30 Danny arrives in full LED gear. He wows the fans and gives a bow before entering the ring. The fans on the boat give him their applauds.

1:30 Lisa Fucking Seldon arrives, once more by way of the sea and on the back of a dolphin. Well, she is QUEEN OF THE SEA. Lisa does a theatrical flip onto the boat, squeezes the water from her hair, ties her hair back, and makes her way into the ring.

3:00 We have three minutes of athletic back and forth, which is quite different than what we’re used to seeing from the Stanton Hardcore Championship. Of note: Lisa manages a few side suplexes, and follows up with a running leg drop. Danny reverses an attempted hurricanrana by Lisa, turning it into a powerbomb pin for a two.

6:00 Lisa finally shows her stripes and goes after Danny with an oar. Danny is given a staple gun by a fan. The two rush one another. Danny takes a few STIFF shots from the oar to the left eye, swelling him up a bit. He does manage to STAPLE THE SHIT out of Lisa’s arm, which eventually causes her to drop the oar. Danny is a gentleman and drops the staple gun soon after. They go back to brawling for a minute or so outside of the ring, mostly punching, kicking, and calling each other names.

11:00 Finally both wrestlers are back in the ring. Lisa rushes and hits Danny with a knee to the gut. Danny hulks up and tosses Lisa into the ropes, body slamming her on the way back. Pin for a two, Lisa kicks out with authority. The two are up. Danny goes for the kill. Lisa squirts her own blood in Danny’s eyes to blind him. Roll up for the three!

20:00 Lisa takes both of her championships. She says it’s nice to be a double champion but the real reason she came tonight was to defend the Hardcore Championship. She promise to come back later in the night to offer an open challenge for her Stanton Hardcore championship.

Winner: Lisa Seldon(C)

Kalinda Kriegsdottir vs Anna Mathews
GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY MATCH


0:00 The winner of this match will receive a match for the loser’s championship! Kalinda arrives with her full entrance aboard the Good Ship Miles, children and ALL. The only change is the inclusion of Sammy 3.0 and MECHA-Kalinda. True to the name of the show, Sammy and Kalinda take opposite arms, walking their soulmate and parental unit to the ring respectively.

4:00 There’s a sudden flash of electricity. It causes hair in the arena to raise. Then another sudden flash. After all of this, a loud pop is hear and a TARDIS appears in the middle of the ring. The door is flung open and Anna Mathews comes from within. Anna looks at Kalinda’s family and friends surrounding the ring and decides to even the odd.

7:00 Anna re-enters the TARDIS. There’s a loud noise from within. Anna then flings the door open again, but she’s not alone! She has three alternate versions of herself! 2003 Anna Mathews is sporting a highschool goth look. KAIJU Anna is Anna, but she’s a lizard! Finally we have cyborg Anna who has robotic eyes and arms and loves wearing camo. The main Anna, our world champion, points outside of the ring. Her friends jump the ropes and CHAOS ensues.

13:00 Kalinda is not amused. Perhaps Sammy and MK might have played unfair, but Kalinda herself brings her posse only for cheering and emotional support! She’s a strong but fair dragon! Anna must be on edge after the surprise attacks from Greg Peake and Connor MacNamara. In any event, Kalinda shoots a damn fireball into Anna’s face. When Anna flinches, Kalina unleashes a kaiju ass beating.

17:00 Anna begins to fight out of said kaiju ass beating. Ass beating involved literal ass beating, being powerbombed, and DRAGON FIRE FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION!

18:00 Having escaped the clutches of Baroness Kalinda, the great and powerful, Anna strikes back with a TELEPORANNA! The force of her move is such that Kalinda is driven THROUGH the ring. The fans are on their feet. Even the warring Anna’s, dragons, cat people, androids, and other assorted oddities around the ring turn to look.

23:00 Kalinda eventually pulls herself from inside of the ring, catching Anna by surprise bu grabbing her ankles and flipping her over. Anna goes down, hitting her face and busting herself open. The Time Lord isn’t ready to die. As Kalinda goes to stomp dead on the base of Anna’s spine, Anna teleports away and comes back with a TELEPORT PUNCH!

25:00 The brawl outside of the ring reaches a fever point. MK begins tossing Anna’s clones back at her. First 2003 who knocks Anna down. Then Cyborg, who breaks in half when she hits Anna, and finally lizard Anna. Kalinda pins Anna under all three.

27:00 Anna is not amused. Kalinda points to Anna’s belt. Anna sticks out her tongue and leaves via her TARDIS, along with her alternate versions.

Winner: Kalinda Kriegsdottir

Lisa Seldon(C) vs A Giant Crab
STANTON HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP


0:00 Lisa arrives to the roar of the fans aboard Miles, a championship upon each of her shoulders. Once in the ring she issues her challenge and it is met by the fan favorite A Giant Crab!

1:00 Lisa sighs and pulls a pair a hammer from her back pocket. She slams the hammer on the crab, cracking it’s shell. The fans recoil in horror as A Giant Crab’s internal workings are revealed. Lisa then karate kicks the wound, destroying A Giant Crab at five minutes before breaking a sweat.

6:00 Lisa isn’t satisfied. She demands a new opponent. She begins to scan the crowd. Then she sees something. Suddenly, jumping from the ring, Lisa rushes into the crowd at breakneck speed. The camera is ahead of her and catches what she sees. It’s Aokigahara Zombie, dead ass drunk and not even aware of where he is. He’s surrounded by crates of alcohol. His evening is made worse when Lisa arrives and punches him in the jaw. The bell rings, so.. Uh…

Winner: Lisa Seldon(C)

Lisa Seldon(C) vs Aokigahara Zombie
STANTON HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP


0:00 Zombie recoils after being punched. He stops and asks why. He’s not even sure who’s attacking him. However, Lisa promised to fight Aoki whenever she got the chance so..

1:00 Eventually it dawns on Aokigahara to fight back. He takes a beer bottle in each hand. Lisa also takes a beer bottle in each hand. What happens next is actually pretty hard to watch. Both wrestlers take turns breaking bottles over each other’s heads for about three damned minutes.

5:00 The shots from the bottles puts Aokigahara in the zone. He finally realizes who he’s fighting. Covered in blood, with Lisa looking quite the same, he drops his bottles and goes fist for fist with Lisa.

7:00 Lisa ends up with the upper hand. Aokigahara is wobbly. Lisa rushes. Aoki ducks and lifts Lisa, dropping her behind him on the boxes of alcohol bottles! SWEET JESUS. Aoki mirrors Lisa as he falls over from blood loss, but ends up pinning Lisa in the process for the win. The final scene of the night is Aoki holding the Stanton Hardcore Championship, not even sure what to do with it!

Winner: Aokigahara Zombie (C)
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